The girls I’ve grown up with are essentially my sisters — the Ya Yas. We love, fight, gossip and party like we came from the same womb. While we’ve seen our interests and lives go in different directions since we’ve left our parent’s homes on Dobson Ranch, our bond remains tight.

If we’d been attending the Oscars last night, we certainly would have been at the Beverly Hills Hotel beforehand, kicking out the stylists to make more room for bartenders, drivers and nannies. I can just imagine the night would go something like this:


Amanda, with her long golden hair, would exit the limo with a tuxedoed Ryan on her arm. She’d smile and bat her long eyelashes at the cameras, trying carefully not let the scar from her recent neck surgery show. Knowing Amanda, she’d have her hair pulled to one side to carefully cover the wound (a la Gwyneth) and nary a paparazzi would see the bandage when she accepted her award for Volver. {Freduardo, the mysterious neck lump, will not return this time!}

Jen and Kelsay,MattmasII, Dec, 2006

Jenny, with her silken tresses piled high on her head, would wear a long red sheath gown and a tasteful diamond bracelet. She’d have to pull her beau Kelsay away from the masses of onlookers as they walked down the red carpet. He’d want to entertain them along the way with his silly humor. Jen — who spends 80% of her life on the road for a very demanding job — would graciously accept her award for The Departed before sneaking out early to spend time at home.


Min would wear Betsy Johnson, fabulous heels and jewelry from her mom’s collection. She’d have the outfit of the evening that everyone would comment only she could pull off with such taste. Her husband Jason would wear a tuxedo t-shirt and would try not to tear up when Min accepted the award for Dream Girls. The mother of two of two sons is expected a new babe this fall.

Shay and Maddy, MattmasII, Dec, 2006

Speaking of girls, Shayla and her lovely daughter Maddy would have matching outfits and would hold hands walking down the red carpet. They would wear black velvet gowns and have diamond stud earrings. Shay would beam with pride when they were both called on stage to accept their award for Little Miss Sunshine.

matt & bec

Reese Witherspoon would be glad she wasn’t at last night’s Oscar. It is An Inconvenient Truth for her that fans regularly approach to ask if she knows she looks a lot like a certain Rebecca who lives in Phoenix. Rebecca, and her husband Matt, would wear Versace — she in a flowing eggplant-purple gown and he in a George Clooney standard tuxedo.

Kacey, MattmasII, Dec, 2006

And Kacey would walk down the red carpet with her sweet Mike in hand, making sure she didn’t have chalk dust on her gown before smiling for the cameras. After having just finished coaching volleyball at her her inner city school near Chicago, the teacher would have to be pried away from the always-demanding needs of her students to accept for Notes on a Scandal. It seems Louis Gossett Jr. should be the principal at her school. Kacey could teach that million dollar baby a thing or two about teaching tough kids.

Me? I thought about accepting for Pan’s Labyrinth — considering many days seem like a series of mazes until I reach my next bagel. Instead I opted for The Pursuit of Happyness. I’m silly-optimistic and the fact they spelled it incorrectly makes me want to accept the award with a bottle of White Out tucked in my tiny Judith Leiber handbag (I’ve always wanted the ladybug.) I’d be wearing Carolina Herrera and Manolos and would keep my impromptu speech short and sweet.