The weather forecast in Phoenix today is like something out of Mary Poppins — practically perfect in every way. I decided to seize the opportunity and went for a 2-hour ride through the giant suburban stucco cul-de-sac, also known as Ahwatukee. Sufjan Stevens and Jay Z alternated on my iPod — pushing me with contrasting styles, the sun was keeping me warm but not hot, my legs felt strong and I was really enjoying the ride. Before I knew it, I was 20 miles or so from home without much other than a good attitude and water bottle. By the time I made my way back, I was beyond hungry, rather shaky and desperate for a warm shower.
I trekked over to Rubio’s — one of my favorite weekend haunts — for a fish burrito and some much needed ice tea, but before I could sit down to eat, I managed to spill two ambitiously full containers of green salsa on my table, book, wallet and keys. Just as I finished cleaning up the mess and laughing at myself, I shook my Nalgene full of ice tea a bit too much and the ice came clattering down, sending freezing cold refreshment down my shirt and pants. Nice.
A family sitting a few tables away didn’t bother to stifle their laughter. Their kids had laughed after my jalapeno jolting salsa mess. Now dripping in ice tea, I’m pretty sure their parents wondered if I was on drugs or just possibly the least coordinated human being they’d ever seen.
As my friend Homer J. Simpson would say, “I’m so smart. S-M-R-T.”