Tall Lady’s officially gone loca. Not only has she decided making me a costume to reflect one of my namesakes — Willie Nelson — is the funniest thing ever, but she painted on a unibrow for yet another Halloween.
First, yes. This is me as Willie Nelson. I know. I know. I’m damn cute. What you should be glad you can’t see is my alarmingly increasing midsection. I actually conned Tall Lady out of a portion of a rotisserie chicken to sit for these photos. It’s not my fault. I showed up at the Heirloom Homestead underfed — ribs visible. The vet told Tall Girl to “feed that dog!” and she has done a great job. Thank God I don’t have to fit into skinny jeans, or any jeans for that matter.
I just hope she doesn’t decide to shave me anytime soon. My girth is hidden fairly well with all this fur, especially the dark fur. Uncle Cody had the nerve to call me “chubby” this afternoon. CHUBBY.
There is enough sorrow with that to make a dog want to write a sad, slow country song.
I may be a drag-dog, but I’m no fool. Dress up? Really? We’ve gotten to this pathetic point of the year after one minor snow? Friends, we may need alpine rescue around here pronto, and it will have nothing to do with being snowed in and everything to do with Tall Lady’s boredom and me as her sole focus of craft.
Help.
In other news — she decided yet again that Frida Kahlo was the right costume choice.
Never mind all the other girls at the party went as cheerleaders, sexy nuns, and pretty much any other costume that doesn’t require emphasizing one’s facial hair. Those are also the girls who went home with boyfriends. Tall Lady? She came home with a glue gun and a mission: the Willie Nelson costume!
At least Uncle BJ was creative. He’s a black eye pea. Get it? Fergalicious!
Happy Howl-oween, amigos. Don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys.
~Willie Nelson Mandela