Under Construction

This weekend flew by, leaving me a bit disoriented this evening as I prepare to return to work. I simply wish I had one more day to rest, sew, clean and get back into the groove. At church this morning, the sermon discussed baptism as a form of renewal. My minister quoted Annie Lamott and her theory of KFKD — the negative radio station constantly playing in the back of our minds. {I’ve written about this miserable station before.}

He talked about how we spend so much of our time listening to the self-criticsm, the doubt, the negative that we forget each of us are divinely unique and amazing. Works of God, really. As he was speaking, I was at that moment fully tuned into KFKD; thankfully the sermon jolted me to turn it off already.

Tools of Mass Construction

There is a photo of my mother when she is pregant with me. She’s got waist-length long, dark brown hair parted down the middle Marsha Brady-style. She’s standing in a backyard, surrounded by friends at a bbq. She’s wearing a bright read T-shirt that reads, “Under Construction.”

Aren’t we all? For me, faith involves being constantly reminded of my ability to improve, my humanness, my apt to error. Striving for perfection is silly, but for me is part of the spiritual journey. In each breath, I want to be more Christ-like. More patient, kind, giving, empathetic and self-less.

A few of my weapons of mass construction in building a better me include:

– my Bible. I don’t read it as often as I want to, but the older I get, the less intimidating it becomes.

– my church

– my family — our relationships have changed with time and I’m often left scratching my head, trying to figure out how I could have handled situations better.

– my running shoes. I do the majority of my heavy thinking while I’m grasping for air. I can think the clearest when my heart is pounding in my ears and I’ve got that rush of endorphins that makes me feel like you could conquer the world.

– and most certainly, my girlfriends. I watch in awe as they’ve become mothers, wives, corporate honchos, artists, writers and incredible people who routinely surprise me with their kindness and intelligence.

I’m pretty sure the work never ends.