Sisters in Spirit is a series of essays by a group of women who felt a spiritual perspective lacking from the steady stream of daily news.  They each agreed to carve space monthly on their blogs for a spiritual conversation.  The topic this month is: accountability.

Sisters in Spirit

I am self-motivated, but much more so when I have someone holding me accountable. An editor nagging for pages on deadline. A running buddy waiting on the trail, tapping an annoyed toe if I’m late. A coven of girlfriends who hold me to my long-held and loudly voiced beliefs. Especially when I get off course.

Have you ever heard Louis CK’s take on beliefs?

“I have a lot of beliefs and I live by none of them.”

He calls them “believies,” and the entire bit is terribly vulgar and twice as funny. He nails it: we hold these ways of proper living close to our mouths, not to our hearts. We spout how important doing XYZ is until it actually comes time to do XYZ.

Pick your believie: 

  • Texting and driving!
  • Recycling!
  • Carpooling!
  • Living within your means!
  • Swearing! Hell no!
  • Not drinking! Burp.
  • Or perhaps just not drinking too much. Burp.
  • Not gossiping! But did you see what she was wearing…

We are flawed by design, some of us (ahem) more so than others.

I’d repeatedly said I would never live with someone before marriage.

Rationale: I’m an independent Christian woman who runs her own household. If a man wants to live with me, we should be married first. It is the right thing to do to honor God.

Reality: I had to quit my job and move across the country to give this relationship a real shot. Those decisions did not come without considerable prayer and counsel. I know it is right to be here, and I couldn’t have financially made it work without living under the same roof. God is under this roof too; He is present in this home.

I still have a lot of mouthy believies these days, but now I see life is a bit more nuanced. I’m not excusing my behavior. I’d be lying if I said I’m not embarrassed. I spend far too much time worried our mothers are embarrassed, and that my views are so old fashioned, I’m completely isolating myself from my peers.

I’m thankful for those who do hold me to my beliefs, and mock my believies. There is a heap of comedic fodder found in both.

As to holding others accountable, this verse rings true: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32

Does someone hold you accountable? What are you working on?


Sarah is municipal attorney, mom to a toddler boy, and United Methodist’s pastor’s wife.  (She does not play the organ.)  She is a life-long Missouri girl with a heart for hospitality and social justice.  Sarah enjoys cooking, running, knitting and embroidery, reading, and playing in the sprinkler.  Sarah blogs at 

Bianca is a Navy wife from the great state of Texas (where she coincidentally currently resides), and she and her husband welcomed their first child in the fall of 2012. She has a passion for serving others, asking hard questions and sharing The Gospel with both her words and actions. Bianca loves Jesus, her hubs & her son, authentic friendships, traveling, making lists of all kinds, and trying new recipes which she blogs about