Tall Lady needs to learn, I am not a mannequin.


Just because she knits something new doesn’t mean I’m supposed to walk around the house, strutting like some skinny French poodle on the dogwalk. I mean, GOD MOM. What will the neighborhood dogs think?


I’ve got an “obnoxious barking + no-discrimination humping policy” to uphold. It isn’t easy for a street dog like me to move into the burbs with all of these farm dogs prowling their backyards and make friends. I just want to fit in, sniff some butts, spend more time at the park and sniff some butts. Is this too much to ask?


I’m channeling my namesake, Willie, and writing a sad, lonely country song about the woes of the pound pup who was forced into drag.


Wait, that’s better. At least no one can see me now.

-w. Nelson Mandela