We’ve reached the point of the year when I become a crying, whiny mess of a Phoenician. This weekend the oven decided to go overachiever on us all, cranking it up to 110.
Do you know what 110 feels like? It includes: prickly skin, a wet nape of the neck, make-up that slides off your face as soon as you put it on, a headache between the eyes, a cringe in the stomach at burnt brown tomato plants, clothing that sticks to you in all the wrong places, groceries that melt before you can get home, cranky and angry drivers on the hot highway, and the ever-so-scream-inducing burn of a metal seat belt.
In a nutshell folks, it is melting-Wicked-Witch-of-the-West-hot here all of a sudden. We’ve been spoiled with a rainy and lengthy spring, only to have summer show up like an unwanted house guest screaming for a home cooked meal and mentioning that you’ve put on a few pounds.
Just. Go. Away. Already.
How about yet another weekend by the numbers (or: how I survived my first Phoenix Summer Weekend of 2010):
$450: How much it cost to repair my air conditioner this weekend.
200: Custom-ordered initial letterpress cards purchased
100: Tomatoes picked, again. I’ve sent them home with lots of friends and have plans for gazpacho this week with these.
70: stitches cast on for a new baby hat in bright yellow cotton. So pretty!
90 degrees: How warm it was inside before the AC man showed up to save me.
12: Number of squash blooms I have on a new set of plants I thought were peppers. Hello, erroneous seed packet! Glad you are blooming all the same. Are you pumpkins? Acorn squash? Zucchini? I love the surprise!
10: Pages I plan to write this week for Novel Dos.
8: Summer Mix CDs burned and mailed
6: Hours I spent thinking about Julia Child after watching “Julie and Julia.” I fell a bit in love. I need to buy her cookbooks.
4: Miles run, number of children in my Sunday School class.
3: Episodes of “Breaking Bad” I enjoyed, and number of hours I spent early morning outside reading. (I adore early mornings in the summer. The way the light changes the colors in the sky from moment to moment. The odd variety of birds and animals who are out to play while I’m running around the lake. The way the rest of the world is asleep and I’m able to plan my day quietly and peacefully.)
2: Correspondence envelopes sewn, stuffed, mailed and gifted
1: Fun champagne brunch attended — number of glasses of champagne consumed? I didn’t count. But I did get 10 friends there and it took a miracle for us to sit outside for three hours in the afternoon, but we laughed and enjoyed the time together anyway we could take it.
0: Number of family members or friends in the hospital. It was a crazy week in that department and thankfully as of today, everyone is on the mend.
Also 0: The number of times I’m going to complain about the heat again here this summer. Feel free to hold me to this. And thanks for listening to a day of pure, aggravated, prickly whine.